“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”

– Dale Carnegie

Constructive or Destructive Criticism

Know the difference between destructive and constructive criticism.

The first step to deal with criticism is to determine if it is constructive or destructive.

To do that you have to know where the feedback is coming from, and understand the intentions of the person who is giving it to you.

Accept that you're not perfect.

If you are not the kind of person that thinks you can do no wrong, self imporvement comes from a willingness to recieve feedback on your performance

Don't Take It Personally.

When it comes to handling criticisim, the rule to remember is don't take it personally. We all have some work to do to keep improving.

Work on being less sensitive.

If you are the kind that cries easily when criticized, gets defensive, or gets upset easily, it may be time to get a thicker skin. You may want to practice being less sensitive.

Dealing with Constructive Criticism

When it comes to receiving constructive criticism, even though we know that it is for our own good, it is still hard to hear sometimes.

Here are 5 ways to help you maneuver that criticism and use it to get better at what you do.

Understand What You're Really Being Told

To effectively deal with criticism, you must first understand the message behind it.

In order to do that, you must first make sure your pride is not so overwhelming that it blocks the real intended message.

It can be hurtful to get any kind of criticism, but if you can control that tendency, you can look for the real message behind the criticism.

Is There Some Truth To It?

Now that we are looking at what was said, consider if the message is coming from a person who has your best interest in mind.

If that is the case, them listen to their words to see if there is some truth in them.

Have you said the same thing privately to yourself, but don't want to admit it out loud?

If many people have said the same thing, this criticism may have some merit.

Don't Make Excuses

When someone is giving you valid criticism, stop making excuses for why that person is completely wrong, especially if you know that there is some truth to what he or she is saying.

It's easy to feel defensive and get the feeling that we can do no wrong, but it's important to hear people out before you cut them off to prove how right your are.

That approach merely prevents you from getting the important information you need to improve your life.

When you are getting valid feedback, use your maturity to stay quiet instead of automatically making excuses.

Make A Game Plan For Addressing It

Now, let's get to the heart of it.

Decide what is true about the message and write down those key points to see exactly what your are dealing with.

Take your time and make sure you've addressed each one.

What changes or adjustments can you make to mitigate each issue.

Do this with everything on your list and you'll be on your way to becoming a better person.

Thank The Person For Being Honest (if they're also being kind).

Handling criticism has so much to do with the person delivering the message. Were they friendly and helpful?

Was their information clear and honestly focused on helping?

If so, thank that person for telling you something that can make you a better person. Their interest in your success is something that should be appreciated. Let them know that.

Thanking someone for their honest criticism is a sign of your maturity, even if you are gritting your teeth in the process.

Dealing with Destructive Criticism

Destructive criticism has the end goal of doing nothing but making someone feel bad about themselves.

It comes in the form of a hurtful message, hurtful delivery, or both. The bad part is that you may not know if it is destructive unitl you size up the whole situation.

The more you know about the person giving the criticism, the quicker you can figure out their motives.

Below are 5 ways to deal with unwanted destrucive criticism.

Understand The Person's True Motives

In a situation that you've already determined is destructive, one way to stay cool is to ask yourself what's the motive behind their assult.

Was their information a way to blow off steam, are they going through something, or do they have their facts completely wrong?

Understanding what their true motives are might take a little sting out of the encounter.

Remember, it is possible that their actions may have little to do with you. Put yourself in their shoes to help you understand where they are really coming from.

Look For The Grain Of Truth

When criticism is delivered in a way that is completely mean, unnecessary, and hurtful, it is hard not to go on the attack.

If you can, stay calm and take a moment to think about what they are saying. They may be totally off base, and have all the facts wrong, but listen anyway. There may be one small grain of truth at you can glean.

If you can find it, you'll be the one who benefits.

If everything said was totally hurtful, with no truth in sight, it is really hard to take them seriously.

Remember That Words Can Never Hurt You

"Sticks and stones..." comes into focus when you realize the hurtful words don't have to have the power to hurt you.

They can't break your bones, can't steal your car, can't drain your wallet, and definitaly can't stop you from doing whatever you want to do. They are just a bunch of words designed to make you feel terrible.

So, don't let them get to you.

Stay Confident

Regardless of what anyone has to say about you, the most important thing you can do is to maintain your self confidence.

You have to stay strong, and always remember who your are. Never let anyone influence your self-worth.

Don't get me wrong, confidence does not mean flawless. We are all human with our own individual challenges. But you make sure you love yourself through them all.

Confidence allows you to accept what you can't change about yourself, and it gives you the power to always improve what you can.

Don't let anyone make you feel any different.

Keep Doing What You're Doing

Hurtful criticism that has no bearing in the truth is not worth your time to even listen to. So when you see it coming, ignore it totally.

Just keep doing what you're doing the way you usually do it.

No one is going to stop you from being who you are.

Don't feel bad if you have a hard time shaking those negative words out of your mind. It may take a while to get used to, but the more practice you get, the better you will become.

Conclusion

The more achievements you make in life, the more you will be criticised. You can't escape it.

Some will be constructive, some will be negative, and some will be disguised as a combination of the two.

Constructive criticism can be effectively handled when it comes from someone who genuinely wants the best for you. This person has honest and clear motives.

Note the things you can change and make the necessay adjustments to become better at what you do.

Criticism designed to hurt is the one to watch out for. That's the kind that you want to handle in a calm fashion.

Listen for any grain of truth that you can capitalize on, and if there is none, just ignore it altogether.

Maintain your self confidence and keep doing what you're doing.

Your strength comes when you can use criticism as a continual self improvement mechanism.

Remember to keep asking, "Who are you to criticize me?"

Question?

Which do you like better, giving or receiving criticism?

Thank You

Hope it helps you in some way.

Please post a comment below, and let me know what you think.

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