Pay Attention To How You View Yourself

The first step in the process of changing your view of yourself is to become aware of your thoughts about yourself. 

Without this awareness, it's hard to even see the underlying problem. 

Breaking any pattern is difficult enough, but if you don't do the self examination first, you may not even realize how comparing yourself to others affects you. 

Make a conscious decision to go through this self examination process, with by yourself, or with a trusted accountability partner. 

Identifying how detrimental it is to obsess over comparing yourself to others will allow you to be able to make some concrete changes to your behavior. 

Assess Your Self-Esteem

The next question to ask is "how is your self-esteem?

After comparing yourself to others, what does that do to your self-esteem? 

As you know, self-esteem can be described as your positive or negative evaluation about yourself. How you feel about yourself changes daily, but self-esteem is more stable. 

It is a stable personality trait that develops over your lifetime. Do you have a high or low self-esteem ? 

If you find yourself looking to others to determine your self-worth, this is the first sign that you could work on your happiness to raise your self-esteem.

Identify Your Comparative Behaviors

Next, identify your comparative behaviors. Comparative behavior happens when you compare yourself with other people. 

Usually you compare positive or negative characteristics with your own. For example, positive behavior is when you compare yourself to someone with qualities you admire. 

Rather than envy them for their good qualities, you strive to make yourself better. 

On the other hand, negative behavior is when you compare yourself with someone who has something you want. If your behavior manifests itself in jealousy, your behavior comparison is negative. 

Sometimes, social comparisons can be helpful, but negative comparative behaviors can damage your own self-esteem. 

Take a look a your comparative behaviors to see where you stand. 

Try To Locate How Your Comparative Behavior Began

One of the hardest things about comparative behaviors is realizing that it's having a negative impact on you. 

To help, try locating how your comparative behavior began. 

Attempt to write about a time in your life when you can remember not comparing yourself to others. From there you can begin journaling. 

Remember where your comparative thoughts originated, and explore what caused this behavior.

Track and acknowledge the way comparing yourself makes you feel. Then you can begin to change that negative behavior. 

Focus On What You Have 

Focus on what you have and start spending time on the good you have in your life. Once you start realizing that comparing yourself to others doesn't work in your favor, you'll look for better ways to measure your successes. 

Once you start to feel and express gratitude for the gifts that you have, you shift your focus from others to yourself. 

Spend more time focusing on the positive and good in your life. You'll end up comparing yourself to others a lot less.  

Realize That Idolizing Someone Is Unrealistic

Realize that idealizing someone is unrealistic. When we idolize someone, we only focus on certain aspects that we admire about the person. 

Doing that makes us create a grandiose fantasy about that person. 

What we don't realize is that we are choosing to only look at the those features we idealize, and choosing to reject the other characteristics that are not so appealing to us. 

Each person has negative and positive qualities, and it pays to look at both equally. Choosing to idealize a person based on qualities you admire is just not realistic. 

Understanding The Process Of Changing Your Behaviors

If you discover there are some negative comparative behaviors you want to change, there is a process that will help you do that. It's call the Transtheoretical Model of change. 

This model is built around the idea that we go through stages that finally end up developing the new behavior. 

Simply stated, these stages are as follows:

1. Pre-contemplation: In this stage, the individual is not ready to change. Often, this is due to being uninformed or under-informed on the issue at hand. 
2. Contemplation: This process is when the person is considering making a change. The individual begins to weigh the positive angles of change. He is aware of the negative sides of change too. 
3. Preparation: During this stage, the individual has made the decision to change, and has started making plans to institute the change. 
4. Action: This is when the person is making the efforts to change the behavior. This involves a reduction in certain activities, and/or increasing other activities.
5. Maintenance: This stage involves maintaining a level of the new activity to ensure that the behavior has changed and remains changed. 
6. Termination: During this stage, the behavior has changed so that the individual doesn't experience a relapse, even under stress, depression, anxiety, or other emotional states.

 This process does not happen overnight, and you may need a supportive team of people around you to help keep you on track.

However, if you remain dedicated, you will make it through.

Replace Negative Behaviors With Positive Ones

So, the bottom line is this; when you compare yourself to others and you view yourself negatively, replace  negative thoughts with positive ones. 

Use the Transtheoretical Model until the positive thoughts about yourself stay permanently ingrained in your head. 

Keep working until your  thoughts are ones you can be proud of.

"How To Find Your Genius In Life"

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