Don't Get Defensive

The most important thing you can do is to remain calm. That is easier said than done, but to help, remember this:

You will never win an argument with an impossible person.

They are called impossible for a reason. In their mind, you are the problem, and nothing you say can convince them otherwise. 

They feel that your opinion doesn't matter because you are guilty, regardless. They will never agree with you or see your side of the story. 

So, don't impulsively react to what they say. Think first. The goals it to preserve your sanity, not change the other person. 

Don't get defensive, use a lot of "I" statements instead of "you" statements. Speak your mind but do so without getting defensive. 

Detach, Disassociate And Defuse

To beat them at their own game, put yourself in a prime position by detaching yourself from the situation. There's nothing more they want than to get you upset and emotionally involved. That way they can blame you for everything.

Don't take the bait. Stay calm in the heat of the moment. Getting angry, yelling, crying, and expressing strong emotion will only stimulate the impossible person to aggravate you even more.  

Remove yourself emotionally, and treat it with indifference. The goal is to keep the person at a distance and not let their words make you feel badly. 

If you can, redirect the conversation to something positive. Talk about anything to divert the conversation away from the argument. 

Avoid Arguing At All Costs

Since avoiding arguments is so important, you can use this strategy to stay on top of the game. 

Impossible people need disagreements to fuel their fire. Therefore, find ways to be agreeable and ignore the disagreeable subjects.

Impossible people are always looking for a fight.  When you agree with them, you are no longer giving them what they want. 

Find areas of agreement and stick to talking about those topics.  

Know You Can't Have A Reasonable Conversation With Them

As we've mentioned earlier, having a civilized conversation with the impossible person is unlikely. If you've tried and failed, use silence to respond to them. They can't force you to talk if you don't want to. 

They don't listen to what you have to say anyway, so silence can sometimes prevent getting cornered into an unnecessary argument. 

Also, you can try humoring them to get the conversation over as quickly as possible. Forget trying to fix them. These people can't be fixed and will not listen to reason. 

If necessary, suggest involving a third party to join the conversation. That way all the heat is off you.

Ignore Them

Impossible people want attention. Ignore them and you take away the thing they want most. 

Try to stay out of their business, out of their way, and avoid talking to or about them.

Once they realize they can't get to you, they'll just move on to someone else. 

If they become disruptive, dangerous, or threatening, get some assistance as soon as possible. 

Ask Thought Provoking Questions

Turn the temperature down on a heated conversation by asking thought provoking questions. You can rephrase the impossible person's position to illustrate irrational thoughts to encourage them to come up with a better solution.

Try asking questions like these: 

• What is the problem? 
• Why do you feel this way?
• What are other alternatives? 
• Who else can we consult?
• Do you have any proof?

Be aware that the impossible person may attempt to complicate things, blame you or others, and display unacceptable behavior. You just keep a cool head. 

Take A Breather

If the person that your dealing with is getting on your last nerve, take every effort to step away and take a breather. Remember the goal is to keep your sanity. Step away and regroup. 

Sometimes people just want to see if they can aggravate you. Take a break and come back fully composed. Once they see they can't get to you, maybe they will drop the situation. 

If they are still being irritating, walk away. Go handle something else until you calm down. Count silently to ten if you must, but after that, try completely ignoring them. 

Hopefully, they'll get the message. 

Be Confident

Dealing with impossible people can be unnerving. Be confident in yourself and know that you can handle them expertly. 

Show confidence by stating your views boldly. Look the person in the eye when communicating with them. Speak clearly and directly. 

When you show any signs of weakness, they will pounce on it like a hungry tiger eating a steak. 

Stand tall and stay calm. Your confidence will speak volumes. 

Adjust Your Strategy

If you can't get away from this person, you can protect yourself by treating it like a game. To beat your opponent, figure out their plays and find a strategy to beat them. 

Impossible people have a strategy that you can figure out. When you understand their strategy, you can predict their next move. 

All you have to do is adjust your strategy to counteract theirs, and you will beat them every time. 

If they change their approach, you change yours.  Always stay three steps ahead of them. Keep them guessing. 

Who knows, this game may even become fun once you become good at it. 

Pay Attention To Your Body Language

Sometimes your own body language may be sending the wrong messages. Pay attention to your body language to make sure you're not unconsciously sending out messages that reveal your emotions. 

Be mindful of how your body reveals your emotions and use that body language to reflect your sense of calmness and composure. 

Avoid these confrontational body gestures: 

• Pointing your fingers at the person
• Making aggressive gestures
• Standing directly in front of the person
• Invading their personal space
• Speaking loudly
• Shaking your head in disapproval

Speak softly, and move as calmly as possible, and reduce your talking speed to present a composed demeanor. 

"You Can Do This"

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