Realize It's OK To Say "NO"

A person will continue to manipulate you as long as you allow them to. 

Protect yourself by simply saying "no". You must stand up for yourself because you do not deserve to be treated disrespectfully. 

It's OK to say "No".

Practice by saying things like this:

• "No I cannot help you with that."
• "No, it's not going to work for me."
• "I'd love to help, but I'm too busy right now."
• "Thanks for asking, but no."

Some people have a really hard time saying "no". If you are one of them, practice in the mirror until you are ready to speak up. 

Learn To Set Boundaries

Another form of manipulation to solicit your help is to use utter helplessness to suck you into rescuing them. 

This type uses comments like, "I am just absolutely terrible at this. Will you help me?"

They may say something like, "You're the only one I have to help me." 

If you hear things like this, it means it's time to set some boundaries. If you decide to jump in to help, set a time limit on it. Say, "I can only help you for five minutes," and stick to your word. 

Avoid Blaming Yourself

Another tactic of manipulators is to make you feel bad about yourself. They want to accuse you of being the problem. 

Remember these are just tactics to manipulate you into complying with their requests. 

When you begin to feel bad about yourself, stop. You are not the problem. Recognize what is happening and put your feelings in check. 

Ask yourself these questions: 

• "Is the person treating me with respect?"
• "Does this person have reasonable requests and expectations of me?"
• "Is this a one-sided relationship?"
• "Do I feel good about myself in this relationship?

If the answer to these questions is "no", the manipulator is likely the problem, not you. Keep your eye out for this type of manipulation and protect yourself.

Be Assertive

Manipulators love to twist the facts to make themselves look more important. 

When you see this happening be assertive. Speak up by asking for clarification because you did not see the situation the same way. 

Ask the person simple questions, and look for a common ground that you can begin to rally around. If you both can agree on something. it's a starting point. 

From there you can start getting closer to the facts. 

Listen To Yourself

During you discourse with a manipulator, listen to yourself to get a gage on how you are feeling. 

Look at how certain behaviors of the other person make you feel. If you feel things like oppressive pressure or obligation to comply with their requests, call it want it is. 

You can then decided how you want to proceed. 

Curtail the Guilt Trip

If using the guilt trip is their angle, the best way to handle it is to nip it in the bud as quickly as you can. 

With guilt trips, don't let the person's interpretation of your behavior determine the situation. Tell them how they are being unrealistic, inconsiderate, and down right disrespectful. 

The sooner these things come out, the quicker you handle them. Don't let anyone lay the guilt trip on you. 

Put The Focus On The Manipulative Person

Instead of allowing the manipulator taking control, turn the situation around. 

Put the spotlight on them by probing them with a bunch of questions about the reasonableness of their demand.

Ask them questions like these: 

• How does that seem fair to you?
• Do they really think their demands are reasonable?
• How will this benefit you?
• How do they think their requests make you feel?

Don't let them off the hook. Keep asking them questions until they see your point.

Don't Get Cornered Into Making Any Quick Decisions

A manipulator may try to put pressure on you to make a quick decision. Don't let them get away with that. 

Tell them that you will think about it. This will buy you some time and keep you from agreeing to something that backs you into a corner. 

If they persist and want you to make a snap decision, just say "no". 

Build A Nice Support Network

You don't want to spend your time wrestling with a manipulator. 

Focus your attention on your healthier relationships. Spend time with people who make you feel happy and confident. 

Build a nice support network of friends, mentors, family, or supportive partners. 

These people help you stay balanced and happy with yourself. 

Don't let yourself become isolated. Take advantage of your support team. 

When All Else Fails, Stay Away From The Manipulator

If you find that it's getting too difficult to interact with a manipulative person, keep your distance. 

You will never be able to change them, so save yourself the aggravation and just avoid them. 

If you must interact with them, limit your encounters. 

When they realize they can't manipulate you, they will just move on to the next willing victim. 

When you don't give them control over you, you win.

Watch This for Some More Motivation