“The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.”
How To Handle Disappointments That Hurt
Failure is an inevitable part of life, and so is disappointment. It's especially difficult when that disappointment hurts.
Disappointment is never fun, whether you're dealing with relationship issues, missed opportunities at work, or dreams that turn into nightmares.
The key to overcoming disappointment is finding a way to turn something negative into something positive.
There is always a way to handle it, not matter what the disappointment is.
Here are a few tips to give you some tools to get started.
1
Let Your Feelings Out
Warning: This next tip is best done in private if possible to protect the ones around you.
When disappointment strikes, you feel it immediately. The emotions flood to the surface almost uncontrollably.
If you can, go to a private place and let those feeling flow. It's Ok to cry hysterically, rant and rave, kick and scream, and do what every you need to get those feelings our of your system.
If you are in public, show your disappointment but don't lash out trying to hurt someone out of revenge.
Maintain control until you can get to a private place to express them. You'll feel better when you're done.
2
Try To Get Some Perspective
Once you calm down and do some thinking about the situation, see of you can get some perspective. It may be difficult immediately after the event, but give it some time.
Ask yourself how much this will matter in a year from now, a month from now, or a week from now? Questions like this can help you come back to reality.
It may be helpful to consult a sympathetic friend or relative. Choose someone what has dealt with a lot of setback in their life, and can offer you some wisdom based on experience.
Sometimes it may be a good idea to sit down and write about the whole incident. This will help you slow down and contemplate what actually happened.
Avoid expressing your disappointment on social media. It may backfire on you.
3
Be Grateful
Be grateful you say? You're probably thinking, "are you kidding me right now? How can I be grateful at a time like this?'
My philosophy is to be thankful for everything that is happening in your life right now, even the disappointments.
When you start thinking about all the positive things in your life to be thankful for, this one disappointment might not looks as bad as it seems.
Look at it as a part of life that helps you refine what you are trying to do. That disappointment might be the very thing that gives you a good learning lesson that protects you in the future.
Be thankful for the good and bad because they all help define the person that you are today.
4
Take Some Time To Heal
Being hurt is cutting yourself with a knife. It hurts, and needs time to heal. You can cry and wallow in self-pity for a while, but then take some time to heal.
I don't know how long it will take, but it will take some time.
In the meantime, be good to yourself.
Take good care of your physical health by taking a long walk in the sun and breathing form fresh air.
Listen to some good music while you work through your feelings. Find "Play That Funky Music" , by "Wild Cherry" on YouTube and jam out for a few.
Express yourself artistically, if you are so inclined. Some of the best artistic creations were born out of disappointment. Who knows? You might make the next creative masterpiece.
What I am saying is simply take good care of yourself.
5
What Can You Learn From This?
Sometimes the only redeeming value from disappointment comes from the lesson it's trying to teach you.
Asking questions like this will help:
- Were my expectations too unrealistic?
- What can I do better the next time?
- Where should I really place the blame?
- What can I learn from this situation to prevent it from happening again?
You may surprise yourself with the answers you come up with. Take the lesson to heart and guard that it doesn't creep into your life again.
6
Adjust Your Expectation
Aligning your expectation with the outcomes you are expecting will save you a lot of frustration.
How long does it take to become a master at what you do?
You've probably heard of the 10,000 hour rule popularized by Malcolm Gladwell in his blockbuster book "Outliers".
Gladwell says that it takes 10,000 hours of intensive practice to achieve mastery of complex skills and materials.
Becoming an actor, musician, professional athlete, or the next Warren Buffet, takes time.
7
Look For The Silver Lining
Keep staring at your situation until you can see a silver lining. You may not think there is anything positive in your disappointment, that is rarely the case.
You may not see it right away. but there is always some positive take-away.
As they say, when one door closes, another opens. This may be the case with you. Sometimes we need to be forced into taking a better route.
Always keep your eyes open for the better opportunity. It is out there.
Conclusion
Disappointments are like death and taxes. You just can't avoid them. When they knock on your door, make sure you know how to handle them.
First, if you can get yourself in a quiet spot and let those feeling fly. Get rid of the negative emotions as quickly as you can. This will help you calm down.
Next, get some perspective on the situation. Ask a few probing questions that can help you look at the things more rationally then emotionally.
Then be grateful for what is happening to you. There are probably more positive things happening in your life than your realize. Concentrate on those things for a while.
Take some time for things to cool down and start healing. Every situation is different, but be patient.
There is a hidden lesson that you can learn when you are open to the possibility that thing happen for your benefit.
Expectations can be a tricky thing. Set incorrectly and you will experience nothing but frustration. Remember the 10,000 hour rule, and remember mastery takes time.
Lastly, keep looking for that silver lining. It is usually there, but is sometimes hard to see at first. Keep looking until you find it.
You can do this, after all, you are a
"Seriously Unstoppable Person Earning Respect".
Question?
What has been your biggest disappointment, and how did you get past it?
(Leave a comment below)
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Albert Powell
Thank You
Hope it helps you in some way.
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