Molly Friedenfeld, The Book of Simple Human Truths

“Speaking kind words starts a wave of love in motion that brings more love upon your shores.”

Polarizations Everywhere

We are constantly being exposed to polarizing ideas devised to do nothing but foster differences of opinions. There is no way you will agree with every person who crosses your path.

In some cases, you may strongly disagree with their opionion. In spite of differing points of view, you can still find common ground.

You can debate your point of view respectfully with the utmost integrity. And, if you need to, you can avoid arguing with the person altogether.

Disagreement doesn't always need to be unpleasant, and in some cases, it can even be educational.

8 Tips To Finding Understanding When Someone Strongly Disagrees With You

There will be times when people strongly disagree with your point of view. That won't scare you when you know these 8 tips to handle the situation.

Differences of opionion are bound to happen, but when handled correctly, those can become an opportunity to expand your knowledge and understanding. Two people often can interpret the very same things much differently.

The following are ways you can maneuvor the disagreement with the objective of disagreeing with an attitude of respect.

Let's get started.

Stay Calm

If you look at a disagreement as more of a discussion to exchange different points of view, rather than an argument that you must win, the exchange goes a lot better.

Stay calm even when you feel the conversation is getting heated. When emotions get high, people seperate into their respective corners to get ready for a fight. Staying calm can prevent this from happening.

The secret to staying calm is to breathe deeply with your diaphram which expands your belly as you inhale. Release slowly through your mouth to create a calming effect throughout your entire body and helps you stay in control of your emotions.

If things get heated, voices become loud, and emotions get high, calm things down. Ask the party to lower their voice, and reinforce the fact that this is a discussion, not a fight.

Be Respectful

Respect the ideas of others by acknowledging those ideas as valid points, even though you may not agree with them.

Tell them, "Your ideas have given me food for thought." You can say something like, "Your points are understood and well taken. I don't necessarily agree with them, but I see how you came up with your conclusion."

People want to be heard and acknowledged. Statements like this will reinforce that desire.

Just because somebody doesn't agree with you doesn't mean they are inferior to you, or that they don't deserve to be treated fairly.

Also, never name call or demean someone who differs from you, and don't hit below the belt to get a jab in. Instead, try to understand how they came up with their ideas.

Acknowledge That You Value The Person, But Just Disagree On Ideas

In the midst of discussing differing ideas, it can be easy to lose sight of the fact that it's nothing personal. Even when the conversation is over, you may still have to interact with each other.

It is beneficial to always let the other person know that you value them as a person. Your ideas may be on the opposite sides of the spectrum, but you still value the person even for their differing opinions.

Another way you can communicate this is by showing an interest in the communication of other topics you both agree on.

Ask them about their day, their work or family, etc. to show that you do care about other aspects of their life.

Use Facts

Arguments can amount to nothing more than venting an emotional response to something that you may have interpreted correctly, but have nothing to do with anything factual.

An emotional arguments is a weak agrument because it is based on feelings instead of facts.

Present your points based, not on feelings, but on facts. The more factual, the harder it is to dispute. Make sure your facts are credible and can be easily verifiable.

Don't Take It Personally

There is a big difference between debating an issue that you don't agree on, and debating who you are as a person.

Don't allow the conversation to be about you as a person, but instead debate issues and opinions you're examining. Even issues and opinions are only one aspect of you as a person.

Make sure the direction of the discussion doesn't turn personal. As soon as you detect signs that it's going that way, immediately end the conversation.

If you keep the debates respectful and don't let them get emotional, you can keep your relationship safe.

Speak For Yourself Only

During the discussion, as you give your opinions, frame them in a way that signals these are your opinions and only yours.

In other word, use a lot of "I" language, not "we" language. When you use the "we" language, the other person can get the feeling that they are being ganged up on, and will feel like they are being attacked.

Make it clear that you let them know that what you say is strickly your point of view.

Believe In Yourself

For some, it can be difficult to bring up a disagreement no matter how justified it may be. You may even try to avoid confrontation altogether, but when you have your facts, and you believe you are right, it's time to speak up.

Believe in yourself and in the integrity of your viewpoint. Don't back down just because someone disagrees with you. Even though it might be extremely difficult to speak up, don't be afraid to speak your truth. Take a deep breathe and go for it.

Don't let your disagreements build up until they manifest into a massive explosion that ends up turning into something blown completely out of porportion.

Choose your battles wisely, but don't be afraid to speak up.

Agree To Disagree

If, after lots of discussion, you find that the conversation is going in circles, it might be time to call it. Sometimes it's just best to agree to disagree.

You may want to redeem your time and energy if there is no progress. Do this by ending the discussion with a smile, and change the subject.

If the other party wants to continue, you may have to ask for a rain check on the discussion. Simply say, "We have had some great discussion, but let's revisit it again in the future."

Hopefully they'll get the message.

Conclusion

Differing opinions and disagreements don't have to end up badly.

When you keep your mind open and proceed respectfully, disagreements can even end up being an educational experience.

No one sees the same thing in the same way. Take the opportunity to gain a different perspective on things by listening to the experiences of others, even when they differ from yours.

If it's hard for you to speak up, get your facts together, take a deep breathe, and say what's on your mind. Stay calm, and believe in your truth.

Avoid the tempation to be right at all costs. This is non-productive and helps no one get closer to a mutual understanding.

When you can't find a consensus and are just going in circles, agree to disagree and move on. This will help keep your relationship in tack and open for future discussions.

Through the process, you can learn to get closer and closer to the truth.

Question?

Even when faced with strong disagreement, can you find a way to agree on one central idea?

Thank You

Hope it helps you in some way.

Please post a comment below, and let me know what you think.

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