-->Cuba Gooding, Jr.
"Don't let people disrespect you. My mom says don't open the door to the devil. Surround yourself with positive people."
Being Disrespected?
Here’s How To Stop It
Being disrespect by someone, no matter who they are, is upsetting to say the least. Your first reaction is probably to go into attack mode and fire back.
There are some who would not give a disrespectful comment the dignity of a response.
Others are left wondering what’s the best way to respond to prevent this from ever happening again. This is a hard call to make.
The tips in this post will give you some suggestions and effective steps you can take to approach this situation head-on.
Let's get started.
1
Determine The Disrespectful Person’s Intent
The first step you can take is to try to determine the intent of the disrespectful person. Give them the benefit of the doubt while you ask yourself were they trying to intentionally hurt you.
If you are not sure, ask them for clarification. Keep your composure calm and non-confrontational, and say something like, “What did you mean when you said that?”
Then, assess your reaction to their reply. If it is still upsetting to you, determine why you feel this way. Make sure your feelings are justified.
2
Take A Moment To Calm Down If You’re Upset
Even though you may be upset, take a moment to calm down. Try to get control of your emotions. Acting impulsively or saying the first thing that pops out of your mouth may not be the wisest thing to do.
Pure unadulterated emotions can escalate the situation and lead to even more conflict. Take some time to get your feelings under control before proceeding.
If you’re having a hard time calming down, excuse yourself and leave the room for a few minutes. Changing the scene can change your emotions.
Once you’ve calmed down, you can take this next step.
3
Determine Whether It’s Worthwhile To Respond
Determine whether it’s worthwhile to respond, by determining whether the behavior was a one-time event or a pattern. Was it a mild infraction, or was it something that you can’t ignore?
The best move may be to ignore it if it’s a one-time action. Ignoring it won’t give it any time to grow. A response is not the wise move.
However, if it’s a pattern that happens with the express intent to hurt you, it calls for a confrontation. Here’s how you should proceed.
4
Stop And Decide What To Say Before You Speak
Stop, organize your thoughts, and decide what you want to say before you speak.
It’s easy to just launch out and give them a piece of your mind, but you want to send the right message. Act intentionally to say the right things to bring this to an end.
Make sure that whatever you say is true, helpful, and necessary to get your point across.
Speaking calmly and deliberately is more likely to disarm them and break their cycle of rude behavior. Insulting the other person with unfair accusations seldom gets you very far.
5
Speak To The Other Person Directly If You Decide To Confront Them
When you do confront someone being disrespectful, speak to them directly. Pull that person to the side so that you have a one-on-one conversation.
Tell them what they did, and how it offended you. Then, sit back and listen.
You will more than likely hear excuses and denials about their true intent. No one likes to be caught and confronted for their digressions. So let them talk.
The most important thing is that you have taken the step to confront them.
6
Be Direct But Polite
As you confront the other person, be polite but clear and direct. Calmly explain what the problem is and how their behavior has affected you.
You can use I-focused language so the person doesn’t feel like they are being attacked. But be matter-of-fact with no apologies.
State what was offensive to you, and ask them not to do it anymore.
7
Give Them A Chance To Respond
Even though you may be absolutely right in your assessment of the situation, give them a chance to respond. As I said before, let them talk.
Listen actively by asking questions to get clarity. Make sure you totally understand what they’re saying, even if you disagree with what they are saying.
Let them know you hear them and respect what they have to say. Being confronted is uncomfortable for them, so give them a chance to speak.
8
Don’t Get Defensive
While you are listening to the other person, keep the upper hand by not getting defensive. Some people will try to blame you instead of admitting they are wrong.
Stay calm in the heat of the moment. Don’t let their reactions emotionally charge you to act irrationally. Remove yourself emotionally from the situation.
The hardest trap to avoid is arguing. Don’t let them get you caught up in an arguing match that ends up badly.
Maintain your composure.
9
Set Clear Boundaries
When you have finished listening, it’s time to set some boundaries. Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships, especially when there is a pattern of disrespect taking place.
Let the person know what you are and are not willing to tolerate. Then establish clear boundaries, and be prepared to enforce them. You will be challenged.
Establish clear consequences if they fail to respect your boundaries. Let them know what you will do when your boundaries are violated.
10
Part Ways
When you come across the person who refuses to comply with your boundaries, part ways. This could be very difficult especially if the person disrespecting you is a family member, or someone you love.
Staying in a long-term relationship with someone who disrespects you is not healthy. Remove that person from your life as soon as you can.
No matter how hard they try to convince you that they will change, don’t go back. If you can’t leave physically right away, remove yourself mentally until you can do it physically.
Severing your relationship can be painful in the beginning, but once you move past a disrespectful environment, you will feel liberated.
Conclusion
Encountering disrespectful behavior from others at one time or another is a virtual certainty. When it happens to you, it can be unnerving and upsetting.
Learning how to handle the situation effectively will require a cool head and a clear plan.
Take the time to assess the situation, and determine if you need to respond. If you find that you are indeed faced with someone who’s trying to hurt you, a confrontation will be needed to address it head-on.
Confront them and listen to what they have to say. Be non-threatening and emotionally neutral. Avoid the temptation to start arguing, and be respectful throughout your whole encounter.
Lay down your boundaries and make sure that they are respected. If that doesn’t happen, it’s time to walk away.
As painful as separation can be, removing yourself may be the only solution.
Regain your self-respect by protecting yourself from disrespectful people. It is a healthy way to approach your life. You deserve to be around uplifting people who make you feel good about yourself.
Remember, you are a "Seriously Unstoppable Person Earning Respect".
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Question
How do you stop people from disrespecting you?
Leave a comment below.
Albert Powell
Thank You
Hope it helps you in some way.
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Simply perfect advice Albert, the only way we are going to solve anything is to work through everything together. There are some who do not want to be respectful, but most really do and may not know how.
Frank, Thank you so much for you thoughts. I agree with you 100 percent. We don’t always have to agree with each other, but we can always be respectful.