"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
You must do the thing you think you cannot do."
--Eleanor Roosevelt
Intro:
Super Achievers can find themselve right in the middle of a terrible fight. What's this fight all about and who will win?
It's the fight of the Super Achievers vs Fear. On the road to Super Achievement in anything you want to excel in, you will encounter the polarizing fear of the unknown. .
The Super Achiever who is on the journey to mastery can be sure to meet an opponent called Fear.
That fact alone will stop many people in their tracks from taking that road.
Probably, the first fear is the fear of failure. Another may be the fear of starting something brand new. And there is alway the fear of taking on a challenge that others tell you you can't win.
Whatever your biggest fear may be, it's time to go head-to-head with it.
Here's how you can win the fight.
In The First Corner
In the first corner, we have the Super Achiever who weighs in with the follow attributes:
- A clear vision of what an ideal future looks like
- Well thought out goals that have measurable outcomes, and a definite time frame for their completion
- An action plan that is being executed every day
- A tracking system to measure the results
- Discipline to attend to the details of every task
- Determination to see it through to the end
- And last, a self-monitoring mechanism to navigate the waters when they get rough
These qualities will be hard to beat when they are put in motion.
In The Second Corner
Fear comes to the fight bearing these credentials:
Fear can make a person:
- Have a Racing heartbeat
- Difficulty breathing
- Feeling dizzy
- Sweating
- Overwhelming anxiety, panic
- Feeling pressured
- Needing to escape
- Feeling detached
- Feeling like you may faint or die
- Feeling powerless to fear, even if you know it’s irrational
These qualifications can make a person turn around and run away, even before the fight begins.
Fear is definitely a worthy component to beat.
It's Time To Face The Music
Now that you both are in the ring, it's time to size up your opponent. You must know who you are dealing with in order to formulate a good plan of attack.
Sizing Up Fear
1. Acknowledge your specific fears.
You can try to ignore the power of fear by blindly overlooking it. But your blissfulness can get you hurt.
The courageous thing to do is to go nose-to-nose and stare right into the eyes of Fear.
By looking straight at the thing you fear and owning the feelings fear induces, is the first step in gaining control of the situation.
- Call out your fear. Sometimes you can spot fear immediately and clearly. Other times it’s more difficult to name those anxious feelings lurking in the back of your mind. Let your feeling about fear rise to the surface and call it out by name. It could be a fear of the unknown, fear of dying, fear of being devastated by fear itself.
- Don’t judge your fears. Just acknowledge what comes up with no attachment to “good” or “bad.” It's just present and you just acknowledge its presence.
2. Understand your triggers.
What if it that stops you in your tracks, and puts you in the throws of sheer fear? What are those fears that are particular to you?
Figure out everything that triggers your fears because, if you can identify them, you have a chance to conquer them.
Sometimes those triggers are obvious, but at other times you don't analyse them. You just react to it.
The more you can understand your triggers, the better.
3. Question the power the fear holds over you.
Does your fear cause you to stay in bed instead of getting up and going to a class you're afraid of failing?
Do you avoid visiting your family in another state because you don't want to get on a plane?
Figure out exactly what power your fear has over your mind and behavior.
4. Imagine the outcome you desire.
Now that you better understand your fear triggers, think about what exactly you would do to reduce their power over you.
Think about what your life would be like if you overpowered those triggers with your courage.
Whatever your fears are, imagine your life without them.
If you are afraid of speaking before a group, imagine giving a motivating speech in front of thousands.
If you are afraid to fly, imagine all the places you would go if you did fly.
Going Face To Face With Fear
Let's go one step further.
1. Identify false beliefs.
You will find that many fears are based in false beliefs or imaginary scenarios that will never happen.
For example, you are in the ring with your opponent and you're thinking that if you don't win this fight, you will never be able to fight again.
Step back and identify these patterns of thinking, and start to question them. Try to think realistically and understand the actual risk involved. Do some online research to uncover the truth, if you must.
You will find that the worse-case scenario is highly unlikely to happen.
So re-structure your thinking to not engage in the catastrophic patterns of thinking. Instead learn to talk back to those thoughts by stating the real truth.
2. Try gradual exposure.
After confronting your false beliefs, begin to expose yourself to the fears you've been avoiding. In other words, get in there and start throwing some jabs at your fears to see how they land.
Exposing yourself to your fears can takes away all the unknowns. "Fear of the unknown" is a commonly used phrase to describe the automatic aversion people feel to something that they don't deal with everyday.
3. Practice engaging with the fear.
When you are able to label your emotions, you develop the power to understand yourself better, which is a sign of emotional intelligence.
It also appears that actually verbalizing your fears has incredible power to help you overcome fears and regulate fear induced emotions.
Next time you experience a fear, verbally engage the fear, using words that describe your fear and anxiety.
4. Learn relaxation techniques.
Experiencing fear and fear triggers causes your body to respond in a “fight-or-flight” response.
To counter this response, try using relaxation techniques to create a sense of calmness and safety.
Relaxation tells your body that there is no danger, and helps you cope with other stress and anxiety in your life.
To Relax:
- Try deep breathing exercises. Focus on your breath, and start counting each breath: 10 seconds inhale, then 10 seconds exhale. Once this is comfortable, elongate your breaths even longer
- If you notice your muscles tensing, be conscious to relax them again. One way to do this is to clench all the muscles in your body for three seconds, then relax them. Do this two or three times to melt away stress throughout your body.
Using Fear To Your Benefit
1. Make your fear a source of fascination.
The same things we fear can also incite feelings of heightened excitement or even passion.
That's why people enjoy extreme sports, horror movies, and swimming with sharks when they are on vacation.
Try to re-frame your fear in such a way that it creates the thrill of excitement that it can offer.
When you start seeing fear as a source of energy, you might even begin to embrace it as a beneficial factor in your life.
2. Harness the power of fear.
If people in life-or-death situations can find super human strength to do extraordinary feats like lifting a car, you can tap into that same energy to overcome any fear.
People report the sensation of time slowing down, senses becoming highly acute, and have the ability to instinctively know what to do in a crisis.
Fear also deadens our awareness of pain.
- As you understand the positives of fear, you can use it to your advantage. For example, many people experience stage fright, yet the fear leading up to a performance can help you focus intensely on what you have to do. . Learn to acknowledge the fear and then direct it to where it will be most beneficial.
- Most people experience fear prior to an event, yet experience no fear during the middle of a situation. Remember that fear heightens your senses so that you have the ability to perform more efficiently and powerfully.
3. Start seeing fear as an opportunity.
Fear can be one of our greatest weapons when we understand how to use it. It can help us identify problems and solve them effectively. It can be a guidepost turning red flag warnings for us to pay attention to what's ahead.
Once the discomfort of the initial wave of fear passes, examine it more closely to see what you can learn from it.
Conclusion
As a Super Achiever, facing the unknown does not have to leave you in fear and trepidation. You can face your fears confidently and courageously.
You can acknowledge the fear, verbalize it, and visualize a different outcome.
By exposing yourself to your fears more and more each day will allows you to determine the realities surrounding them and choose to harness those fear emotions to produce positive results.
Practicing tactics, such as relaxation techniques can neutralize the debilitating effects of fear, and give you the power to beat it every time.
The Super Achiever may not be able to eliminate fear altogether but can surely learn to win the battle over it.
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